Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

What caused the stock market to crash?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

Why is digital marketing important?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I can read

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

More dental problems as you get older? Aging may not be the real reason - San Francisco Chronicle

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

Have you ever had a secret crush on anyone?

I can count

I have a reading level above third grade

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Is Replika conscious?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Fatty liver: Symptoms and warning signs seen during the night - Times of India

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I see through liars

What qualities do single women typically look for in a man? Is it a common preference for women to want a man who earns more than they do?

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Why do people have polyamorous relationships?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I actually pay taxes

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Why am I so triggered and depressed over a minor thing?

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

Who would win in this boxing matchup between these two, Dillian Whyte or Samuel Peter?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Would Donald Trump's reelection make the world more dangerous?

I have complete contempt for fakery

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Why do a lot of autistic people not know how to style their hair?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

The Fog of Trade War Is Causing Confusion About Price Increases - WSJ

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I know who the president of Turkey really is

How do I write a character’s physical description without it feeling unnatural and clunky? I’m able to describe their hair and body relatively easily because my writing puts emphasis on small movements and fidgeting, but I can’t describe faces.

I understand how hurricane paths work

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

What are some life hacks for living on your own?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t buy bullshit

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t cotton to rapists

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.